The Lady Libertine Race

June 4, 2005

New York's favorite bike shop chick, Arone (that's pronounced "Erin"), really knows how to put on a good race. She got 35 people to come out for her debut alleycat, and it wasn't just the 12 girls who asked when her next one was going to be. What made this race so great? I dunno. I wasn't racing. But everyone came back soaked from Mike D, Ho, and Brean's water guns, and covered in kisses from Hugo, for starters. At another checkpoint, free beer was up for grabs for the people who could tie a cherry stem in a knot with their tongues. Oh, and then there was the "Ladies First" rule: if you arrived at a checkpoint with a girl, you had to wait until they were out of sight before you could move on. Then there was a water balloon fight. Why not? Then she had her most inspired moment, flipping the cards on us sexist pig guys, making us strip down to the next best thing to a white t-shirt: white boxers. There was a moment when the 7 of us stood outside on 5th St wondering what we were doing half naked in public. Then the wall of ladies barraged us with balloons, squirt guns, and pitchers of water. Hilarity ensued.

Oh, Charlotte came in 3rd - OVERALL!!! Freakin' awesome. She's the first ever Lady Libertine. And the softspoken Adam Staudt beat out the rest of the guys to become the first ever Lord Man-Guy. Congratulations, Lord Man Guy. Adam got a bag, a pretty sash, and a portable vagina out of the deal. Seriously. There's a picture down there if you don't believe me.