Mermaid Parade Events, 2004

June 26, 2004         Full Results at end of page

SPRINTS

Men

No one really knows how it happened, but it just had to happen that Carlos met Felipe for the men's finals of the sprints competition. It was pretty intense, and the roadway wasn't in nearly as good condition as it has been in recent years. That wasn't as much a problem for the sprints as it was for the skids. In other words, there were a couple of spectacular spills. A bit of blood was drawn here and there, but no one was hurt to the extent that a nice cold beer couldn't make them feel all better.

When all was said and done, and the two team Puma members saddled up at the start line under the F train, it was Felipe who pulled ahead of Carlos just before the finish line. Yet again, The King proves why he deserves his title.

Ladies

Of course, the guys didn't take all the glory here. For the women's final, Team Puma's only girl messenger, Charlotte won by fractions of a second. This was a damn close race. The judges had to summon that sliver of sobriety hiding in the back of their heads to focus on the finish line hard enough. I'm just kidding, folks. No one was *that* wasted. But the finish *was* that close. In another win for Team Puma, which had a good 75% chance of winning anyway, Charlotte kept a mere foot or two lead straight through the finish line. The girl isn't old enough to vote yet, but she can sure push a bike around.

SKIDS

I don't think anyone brought a tape measurer, but the winning skid looked like it was a good 150 feet. It belonged to Shawn. An honorable mention should go to Ted, who came within a heartbreaking foot of that mark.

TRACKSTANDS

There's something poetic about a bunch of bikers trying hard to go nowhere underneath a rumbling subway line taking a bunch of pedestrians somewhere without any effort at all. That said, the trackstand competition was without major incedent, and the honors went to Tank.

Foot-Down

Foot Down is one of those games non-bikers shake their heads at and wonder at your sanity when you tell them about it. The whole point of the game is to ride around in circles and push everyone else off their bikes. As soon as you put a foot down on the ground, you're out. It's not like it's overly dangerous, but the pedestrian world just doesn't understand us.

After a practice round to explain the rules, the second round came to Eric on his oversized track bike vs. none other than Squid, who played it pretty defensively the whole round except for an effortless shoulder check while cruising against the flow of the circle. Poor Eric probably didn't want to do this, but after a failed attempt by Squid to shake him off, he pulled around and lifted Squid's rear wheel off the ground, forcing him to hop off the pedals. Winner: Eric.

FINAL RESULTS

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