The Superheroes Race

May 20, 2006

FINAL RESULTS
By: Ken Stanek I gotta say, it was pretty cool to finally win my first Alleycat. And because of that, I'm going to write more than usual about it, and from a much more personal perspective. Victor and I paired up at the start line, having not found partners before today. Last week, I had seen him hauling ass in the Bridge Battle, so I figured we'd be a good team. There was some stiff competition out there. Felipe & Cali, Yatika & Hugo, and we found out later - Dan NJ and Crihs. Vic & I decided to head up East first, after hitting the mandatory 1st Checkpoint on the Brooklyn Bridge. That was a cramped checkpoint, as the bridge is always filled with tourists, and it wasn't too far away from the start line. Furthermore, to get there, you had to hustle up 5 blocks from the start, dismount, run up a set of stairs with dozens of other people carrying their bikes over their shoulders, and get back on & keep going. About 15 minutes before the start of the race, I ran into a tour group from Bike The Big Apple, who I had worked as a guide for last summer. They were about to head over the Brooklyn Bridge. I warned them that "if they saw 60 bikers riding as fast as they could over the bridge, that was us". The 14 foriegn tourists thought it was hilarious, if not slightly terrifying, but I still think had no idea what I was talking about. After the Bridge, you could either cut over to the Spiderman Checkpoint at the Moonshine Diner on 6th Avenue & Canal, then head up the West Side and back down East, or up to the News Building on 42nd between 2nd & 3rd, then way uptown and back down the West Side. Vic & I followed NJ Dan & Crihs up to 42nd St, where the checkpoint workers eventually abandoned taking portraits because too many people were getting pissed off. Justifiably so, of course. This was a race! By the time we got to 125th & 2nd, we had lost Teen Action Force, which I have affectionately dubbed Dan & Crihs. Unfortunately, the checkpoint worker wasn't there yet. (we found out later he had gotten on a subway which had broken down. And then once he got there, he got mugged. He's ok, but he had a really shitty day). Vic & I were on our phones to Nona, the race organizer. By the time she told us just to go on to the next checkpoint, Teen Action Force had caught up to us. We were neck & neck again, battling up to Fort Tryon Park on 192nd St. Victor & I got split up at one point on the way up. I tried to radio him directions, but both of our receptions were spotty. I arrived at the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles checkpoint moments before Dan & Crihs, and drank my green ooze (a sincerely appreciated cup of gatorade), but then had to wait for Victor, who had missed a turn, and ended up at the bottom of a BIG hill to get to the park. Dan & Crihs took off. They had at least three minutes on us before we were able to go. Probably more. Vic caught up, exasperated, and extremely apologetic. "It's just a race dude. It's alright" I said. "You ready to go? Let's go." We made it down to the Central Park checkpoint as quickly as we could, dodging crosstraffic on Broadway for over 100 blocks. Families were yelling at us, taxis were honking at us...but we had time to make up here. Central Park was a tricky checkpoint. It was under a bridgeway over the bridlepath. Neither Vic nor I could find it immediately. He was headed too far into the park - to Bethesda terrace. This is where it pays to have Nextel's in a team race. I hit him with "turn around Vic, turn around". We came back around and still couldn't find the checkpoint where I could've sworn it was supposed to be, so I began shouting to no-one in particular "WHERE'S THE BRIDLEPATH UNDER 71ST ST!!!! WHERE'S THE BRIDLEPATH UNDER 71ST ST." Confused, a few relaxed people enjoying a sunny day pointed & grunted to the path near Central Park West. I shouted a sweaty "THANK YOU" and hurried off. We got our manifests signed, then went to 56th & 11th, nearly taken out by a street fair in our way. After that checkpoint, we had to get all the way downtown to Canal & 6th. We headed to the West side bike path. Victor headed into traffic on the highway, and I hit the path. After 10 blocks, I realized that dodging all these rollerbladers, bikers, joggers, and walkers going in both directions was not only ridiculous, it was dangerous for both of us. So I hopped on the roadway with Vic, where we probably made it down to Canal St. in less time than would seem logical. That roadway was fast. A bit congested up until 34th St, but then it opened up, and we could catch the draft off all the traffic. After I got off, I had never felt more adrenaline pulsing through my body. I could barely blink my eyes. We go to the next checkpoint, where we had to recite our battle cry. We didn't make one up, and didn't feel like dealing with people much less relaxed than us, so we made up something like "YAARRRRRGHHHH" or "TEAM 19 WOW!" I can't remember. It doesn't matter. By the time we hit City Hall, we were told we were the first people there. We had won this race. But there was still one leg left. At this point, Victor and I were battling only eachother - to find out who was the hero and who was the sidekick. This last leg to Union Pool in Williamsburg was a time trial. Austin Horse stamped the time on our manifests, threw them in the air, and we were off. Heading up to the bridge, I had pulled a few blocks of a lead on Vic, but a car & an old lady shuffling across the street blocked my way to the roadway of the Williamsburg Bridge. This was disastrous to me. I had NO choice but to swerve right, but then I had to stop my bike, get off, throw it onto the roadway of the bridge, and remount on an uphill, starting from a dead stop. Victor was right behind me, and catching my draft. Normally, I'd try to shake someone sucking my wheel, but I felt it wasn't advantageous to my well-being to unpredictably swerve into the lane on the bridge as cars were whizzing by. So we spilled out into Brooklyn almost even. I don't know where Vic went at this point, and honestly, I'm not entirely sure where I went either. Williamsburg ALWAYS screws me up. I only had a vague idea of where Union Pool was, and again had to resort to aimless shouting to passersby for directions. I made it there quickly, only to see Victor rushing in the door moments ahead of me! This technically makes Vic the hero and me the sidekick, and I'm fine with that. In great hero fashion though, Victor gave me a lot of credit for the race, and bought my drinks for the rest of the night. Congratulations to Nona for throwing a great race, and thank you. We're sorry for the drama that unfortunately unfolded later on. It's not the place for this website to comment on that, but we strongly suggest a "no fights" rule for all future races. The world's a better place that way. Oh, and if you didn't get your hands on one of these dope T-shirts, there are still some available. Email qandanyc@gmail.com for details on how to pick one up. And if you're wondering what's up with the dude flipping the double birds, this should explain everything. Here are a couple more pics. And More.